"I Am Tired of This Life Lord"

     I started Holimess as a place to put what I share at Church on Sunday mornings, but it has expanded to include book reviews, recipes, and even diy projects - at least the ones that I finish.   Through Holimess, I have become friends with people that I have never actually met in person.  I know about their families and struggles and they know about mine.

    Those of you who have blogs know this, but for those who are readers, let me explain that there is an area for the writer called Stats.  Stats is important to tell you how many people have visited your blog, what they have read, and where they are from.  It will also   tell you what Google searches have brought people to your blog.  My most popular post, by far, is Lizards, Snakes, and Prayers about going to a Reptile Exhibit with Patty and Patrick.  I took a picture of Patrick and a man who is a famous Youtube snake expert.  Because I am clueless, I did not know this when I took the picture.  The man is Chewy from Snakebytes.  If you google Chewy Snakebytes under Images, that picture comes up first.

     Typical Holimess google searches are things like “Jesus, I believe,”  “Buying cookies at Grand Central,” “Breast cancer,” “Cake Boss,” and assorted scripture verses.  But this week, I had a Google search that tugged at my heart.  Someone had googled, “I am tired of this life Lord.” 

     When I noticed this search, I immediately offered the person to God in prayer.  While I do not know the source of their pain, God does.  I asked God to hold them gently in His hands. To give them support and encouragement.  To let them know that whatever battle they are facing, they are not alone.  To breathe upon their situation and to bring them grace, healing and peace.
     But over the week, I kept thinking and praying about the depth of pain that could lead a person to google “I am tired of this life lord.”  I wondered if when they got to Holimess they landed on a post that God could use to provide support.  (God has been known to use a talking donkey so I guess He can probably use me.)  So I repeated the search “I am tired of this life Lord” to see if I could figure out what post Google would have led them to.  I went through pages of the search on the web, but found nothing.  It wasn’t until I switched over to images, that I found a familiar picture.  About half way down the first page of images was a picture of Patty running in a bubble ball on the water at Otter Lake.  I clicked through to my post.

      Memories washed over me.  Our first summer camping at Otter Lake with our friends, Denis and Lori.  I still had burn marks on my chest from radiation treatments.  I was tired, very tired, but happy.  Life was renewing its rhythms.  Hope blossomed.  My children were walking on water.

      I want to assure the weary searcher that Jesus knows what it is like to be tired and hard pressed.  Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
     On the night before His crucifixion, Jesus went to pray in a grove of olive trees called the Garden of Gethsemane.  A “gethsemane” was a huge stone basin where olives were crushed by another large round stone that was rolled around by yoked oxen until the oil flowed. When we feel tired of this life and pressed on every side, our Lord Jesus – who was crushed beneath the weight of undeserved condemnation  and hung on a cross for my sins and yours, feels your weariness.  He invites us to exchange our yoke for His. Jesus is more than able and willing to bear our burdens.  The grace that He offers is weightless.
     In Psalms it says ‘Be still and know that I am God’.  Come before God, away from the noise, away from the commotion, away from the busyness. Not with a shopping list, not with a list of demands, but actually with no words at all – just with a heart that is open to listen.
And in the quietness, in the stillness, in the tranquillity – the voice of God whispers and we become refreshed.

     Underneath the wind, the waves, the weariness, and even the bubble, are the everlasting arms of God.



This post was mentioned by Karmen at Chairs From the Curb.  Karen shares about life, family, and  old chairs.  I loved her post about riding horses on the beach.

Day 15: Five Dollar Bicycle

     For many summers, our family went camping with two other families.  A variety of children, tents, trailers, chairs, firewood, and marshmallows mixed together with stories, laughter, some friendly competition, a few assorted tantrums - not all of which were the children's, and lots of activity.
     One year, in the midst of my frenetic packing for our trip, a very important item did not make it into the truck.  Anthony, who was eight at the time, was crushed to learn that his bike had been left behind.  A bike for Anthony was not just a convenience, it was a necessity.  I humbly begged the master of tag sales in our group, Mary (of The Red Lion Inn fame), to take me with her the next day so I could try to find Anthony a bike.
     Mary leaned over to comfort Anthony and decided to pray.  Her prayer went something like this.  "Lord, Anthony needs a bike for camping.  Please let us find him the perfect bike for five dollars tomorrow morning in Jesus name.  Amen!"  Mary, apparently satisfied with her prayer, sat back and told Anthony not to worry; he would have his bike tomorrow.  Anthony went off smiling to roast marshmallows.  The bike was practically his.
     Meanwhile, I was the one who was way beyond worried.  I was in a state of panic.  My mind raced. Saying, "...in Jesus name," is not like using a magic wand.  In fact, that was rather presumptive on her part.  God can not be strong armed into doing something.  I would never pray like that.  I wouldn't have the nerve.  But now, I had been backed into a corner - by someone else's prayer.  The pressure was on.  I had to find a boys bike, of the right tire height, the next day, FOR FIVE DOLLARS!  I couldn't even go with Plan B, which was to buy a bike at the local Walmart, because Mary had prayed so specifically that it would cost five dollars.  Five dollars for a bike!  Who ever heard of such a thing?
     I felt incredible pressure.  I was afraid that God wouldn't pull through.  I reasoned, five dollar bikes are just not possible.  Anthony's faith for a life time was going to be trashed, if I didn't find a five dollar bike!  I needed to help God make this miracle happen.
     The day arrived bright and sunny.  I hustled Mary into the car.  We were on a mission.  I asked Mary for directions.
     "I guess we could just head into town and look for signs,"  she calmly responded.
     My heart rate tripled!  GUESS!   LOOK for signs!  I thought she KNEW!  I needed a plan guaranteed to find a bicycle and she didn't know exactly where the sales even were.  The plan was to drive around and hope to stumble on signs for tag sales!  I mumbled some things that ought not to be repeated.
     Sure enough when we got to the next town, there were signs.  In fact, we discovered that I had built in radar for finding those tag sales.  We found about seven tag sales in a one mile radius.  Mary bought toys for her grandchildren, dishes, and things to excite her seamstress heart.  I found, but did not buy, a whole fleet of exercise bikes.  I was pretty sure that Anthony would not want a stationary bicycle.  I began to chew my nails.  I never chew my nails.  At our seventh tag sale I was completely discouraged.  Mary, came up with her own Plan B.  She asked the home owner if there was a local thrift store.  Armed with directions, we continued our search.
     As we pulled into the parking lot of the thrift store, I could see the bike!  It was a bright green boy's trail bike.  It was the perfect height.  I excitedly raced over to it.  It looked as though it had hardly been used.  The brakes worked.  The tires had air. The bike was in wonderful condition.  I searched for a price tag.  None.   I wheeled it right into the store.  I was determined, that bike was going to be Anthony's no matter what it cost!
     Of course, the first clerk I asked didn't know how much the bike was.  It had just come in.
She went to check with the manager.  God has a sense of humor and left me to stew for a few minutes.
    The manager arrived and appraised the bike.  She pursed her lips, "Well...I think that five dollars would be a good price."
     I about fell over.  Of course, Mary and I told the ladies how they had been used as an answer to a little boys prayer.
     Mary and I loaded the bike into the car and drove off in triumph.  Anthony was thrilled to have the bike that God had given to him.  He wasn't as impressed as I was, because he had never had any doubts.
     God taught me a lot through a five dollar bicycle.  First, God is God and I will trust HIm.  It is easy for me to trust God for other people.  I know that He will save you.  I even know that He will watch out for me.  Because I am a control person, it's harder to trust Him for my children, and yet, they have always been His.  I have an illusion of control over their lives and happiness, but really they belong to God.  He loves them much more than I ever could.  Finally, I learned that God does not need my help.  He is perfectly capable of performing a miracle all on His own.  He even wants to.  Our God is a mighty God.  There is nothing that He can not do.

My son, do not forget my teaching,

but keep my commands in your heart, 

for they will prolong your life many years

and bring you prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favor and a good name 

in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will direct your paths.   ~Proverbs 3:1-6

     This post is Day 15 in the 31 Day Series: Welcome to My Mess.  You can read the other posts here.

21 Graces: Week Five

     I've always admired those faithful people who are counting a thousand blessings.  I thought about attempting it from time to time.  But,  recording 1,000 blessings seemed a little overwhelming.  I'm good at accepting blessings, but to write them down was another story.  That's why when I saw the idea behind 21 Graces, I was excited to jump in.  Everyday I note three things which blessed me.  That's it, just three things.  At the end of the week there are 21 Graces.  So simple.  God always blesses me with far more than three each day.

     Friend, you are welcome to join in on the fun.  Visit Jordy Liz Blogs to link up or to find out more.

1. My son, Brian,  came to visit for the long weekend.
2. Brian replaced some of the light switches in the house for us.
   
3. A second trip to the Renaissance Fair.
4. The generous heart of my youngest son, Connor, who gave $1.00 to Robin Hood because the actor said he needed money for the poor.
5. An inspiring Convocation speech from our new Superintendent for the opening of the school year.
6. Productive meetings for the first few days and time to add the last touches to our classrooms before the students come on Friday.
7. Continuing work on projects around the house.  We are beginning to see some things coming together.  So exciting.
8. A little frog sitting in a mud puddle enjoying the day.
9. We built a small fire pit in our backyard with leftover pavers.  Camp fires at home!
10. We had s'mores!!!!
11. Building a fire in the fire pit is like an open invitation to the kids to stop whatever they are doing and come sit with Mom.  
12. Reviewing a new book by Misty Leask.  The book is Dear Wife.
13. Giving a friend a picture that I took of her and her puppy. 
14. Passing an art picture on to a friend who will appreciate it.
15. Changing our bedspread for Fall.
16. Listening to my boys laughing together.
17. Making a new friend at school.
18. A thoughtful husband.
19. Encouraging others to sponsor a child through Compassion International.
20. Watching our chickens peck and scratch on the lawn.  The girls won't eat earthworms.  I thought all chickens ate worms.  If you have chickens - do yours?
    
21. This.

Going Camping With God

      One of the things I liked best about our church's VBS this summer, was that it reminded me so much of camping.  There were fireflies, s’mores, campfires, foot washing, children’s laughter, and tents.
     There were tents in the sanctuary, the lobby, and a classroom.  The tents were cozy and secure, a fun place to listen to a story in the glow of a flashlight.      
        Let’s pull out those sanctified imaginations of ours and imagine camping inside a tent, zipped up for the night, with a small lantern for light.  Now imagine what the tent would look like from the outside.  Picture the glow, as the lamp illuminates it from within.
     Did you know that God has a Tent?  In the Book of Exodus, when Moses had led the people out of Egypt into the desert, God instructed them to build a place of worship.  It was a very large tent, called the Tabernacle or the Tent of Meeting.  God described in detail how the Israelites should build and furnish the Tent of Meeting.   Pure gold lamps set on a lampstand made by the most skilled artisans  were to burn oil within the Tent from evening until morning.  The glow of the Tent illuminated the dark and reminded the Israelites throughout the night of the presence of God.
     God still uses tents.

And the Word became flesh and lived among us.  ~John 1:14

     The “Word,” of course, is Jesus.  The Greek word for “lived among us”, comes from a Greek word that means tent or tabernacle from the root, skay – nay) which means tent or tabernacled.  So this passage literally reads, "And the Word became flesh and tabernacled among us."
     Jesus tabernacled among us. He brought us into the tent.
     Matthew 5:14-16 tells us that Jesus in us is the light.

 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

     Fueled by the Holy Spirit, we are to let Jesus’ light shine through us into the darkness as we are called to serve Him in this world.
     In Revelations, we see one last mention of the Tent.

For this reason they are before the throne of God, and worship him day and night within his temple and the one who is seated on the throne will shelter them.  They will hunger no more, and thirst no more;  the sun will not strike them, nor any scorching heat;  ~ Revelation 7:15-16 

     God will shelter them. The same word that was used in John.  God will spread His tabernacle, His tent over them.      
     God has enclosed us in his tabernacle.  He shelters us in His tent.  He is the God who created us, redeems us, sustains us, and loves us.
     Don’t you just love tents?

S'more Applications For Life & a Recipe

     S’mores are usually made with a marshmallow pierced with a stick and heated over a campfire.  The toasted marshmallow is then pressed, along with a piece of chocolate, between two squares of graham cracker.   Yum!  Sigh...S’mores, the wonderful, sweet, gooey, goodness of them.

S’more Life Application # 1:
     We are all a little like a s’more.  Go with me here.  Use your sanctified imagination.
     We are like a S'more.  You were born just a plain ol’ graham cracker like everyone else.  Sometimes you felt a bit brittle and crumbly.  Other times, you were more than a little perforated.  Half the time you were kind of square.
     Then one day someone told you about sweet Jesus, and your marshmallow heart softened over the fire of faith.  You felt all warm and toasty inside.  Your warmth overflowed and the chocolatey goodness of God’s love combined to make you into a new creation.  You were no longer a plain Jane cracker.  Our God can transform lives into something special and sweet.

S'more Life Application # 2:
     S’more is a shortened way of saying “Some more.”  Keep your heart soft and squishy like a warm marshmallow, by looking for the s’mores in your life.
     Look for S’more opportunities to share God’s love.
            S’more chances to serve others.
            S’more time to read your Bible.
            S’more time to sing praises to Him.
            Help your friends to find s’mores, too.
     When you look, you’ll find that there are s’mores all over.  The more s’mores you find, the sweeter life will be.
     So which would you rather be?  A plain ol’ cracker or an ooey-gooey, delicious s’more for God?  Don't forget to look for opportunities to share s’more of God as you go about your daily life.
     Because our God is a consuming fire.

Recipe for S'more Dip

All of the goodness of a S'more without the campfire!

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk  (not evaporated milk)
1/2 cup marshmallow creme
1 box of graham crackers or graham cracker sticks for dipping
How to:
1.  In a small bowl, microwave the chocolate chips and condensed milk on high for 1 to 2 minutes.  Stirring every thirty seconds.  Heat until chocolate chips are melted.
2.  Drop spoons of the marshmallow creme on top and microwave again for  another 30 seconds. Swirl a knife through the marshmallow and chocolate.  You want to marble the marshmallow and the chocolate mixture.
3.  Serve warm with graham crackers for dipping.  Enjoy!

Updated:  So happy to have this posted featured at Manic Monday!

A Fixed and Steadfast Heart

     What is your heart fixed on?

This photo was taken when we were camping over Columbus Day Weekend.

 A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion. Surely he shall not be moved forever: the righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance. He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD. His heart is established,  ~ Psalm 112:5-8a

     When I was trying to determine where God was leading me in my choice of my word for the year I felt impressed by this verse in Psalms.  I wanted my heart to be fixed on God.  I didn’t want my word for the year to be “fixed” though, for purely selfish reasons. For the past few years I have gotten a charm for a necklace with my word on it.   Would I really want to wear a necklace that read “Fixed?”  I eventually choose “Believe” which incorporates the idea of fixed into it.

 He shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is firmly fixed, trusting in the Lord.

His heart is established and steady (Amplified Bible)  Psalm112:7-8a

The word translated as fixed is the Hebrew word “Kuwn.”   Kuwn has two meanings:  

1. To be firm and fastened, stable and established.

2. To be securely determined and directed aright.  

       A believer’s heart is to be firm and fastened, stable and established.  Psalm 1 provides us with a picture of a believer whose heart is fixed on God.

Blessed is the man

Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,

Nor stands in the path of sinners,

Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

And in His law he mediates day and night.

He shall be like a tree

Planted by the rivers of water,

That brings forth its fruit in its season,

Whose leaf shall not wither;

And whatever he does shall prosper.

     A believer’s heart is to be securely determined and directed aright, rooted and grounded.  A tree has roots that reach down deep to tap into life giving water, just as the branches stretch upward into the sky toward the sun.  Let our hearts be fixed, trusting in Him, like a tree planted by the rivers of water.  Let our hearts bring forth fruit and let our leaf not wither.  Let our hearts be fixed and fastened, stable and established, rooted and grounded, and securely determined and directed aright, reaching up and trusting in our Lord and Savior.

     Is your heart fixed today?

One Year Blogaversary

     One year ago today I began the Holimess  blog.   It has been a wonderful year.  When I put my first post up. I really wasn't sure there would be a second.  I just prayed that God would use this little blog as He saw fit.  Holimess is a Christian blog.  There are occasional recipes, craft projects, and children's stories, but for the most part, Holimess is about seeing God in the midst of our ordinary, everyday lives.  I wasn't sure that was the direction I would go, after all the big popular blogs are lifestyle-design-decorator type blogs, but I am beginning to recognize that He is what I write about.
     Here is an assortment of posts that stand out for me from this year.

     Opus 40, a post about Fall Camping with my family was my very first post.

     One of my favorite posts was I Believe.  That post was based on a quote by Audrey Hepburn.  "I believe in pink.  I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner...."

     Another one of my favorite posts is Return to Me which features my Dad.

     My most read post is Enchanted: Milk Glass Snack Plates.  I purchased these beautiful milk glass plates at our local Good Will.

     During the month of September, I blogged about Compassion International.

     I Wear Pink was a thirty one day series in October on my journey with Breast Cancer linked up at the Nesting Place.  I am a three year survivor.

     I'm looking forward to see where Holimess goes this year.

     Thank you my friends for making this year so special for me.  You are amazing and I am so grateful to have met you.

Fall Camping

      Over Columbus Day weekend, we took one last camping trip.  We went to a Jelly Stone Park Campground in Gardiner, NY.  The weather was cold and a little drizzly.  Still, we managed to have fun.  The kids got in some reading around the fire.

     We had s'mores!  My family's favorite camp food.  This is one of the crispier marshmallows that were toasted.  

Charcoal marshmallow

      There is a lazy river that winds it's way through the back of the campground.  It was the perfect spot for  family pictures.

     The tree was huge.  

      My handsome husband.

      Flags at the camp store.

      Hey, Boo Boo!

     A wonderful weekend.

Gone With the Wind

     We went camping in Pennsylvania last month alongside beautiful Otter Lake.  Mist curls gracefully up from its surface each morning.  (You can read about Water Walking on Otter Lake here.)

      I enjoy camping, as long as I can bring the comforts of home with me.  We are the proud owners of a small travel trailer.  Our trailer has a kitchen, a table and couch, the tiniest bathroom known to man, and a bedroom for my husband and I.  Our three children, and my niece, sleep in tents.  

     Below is a picture of our campsite.  I took this photo standing by the lake looking up at the kids enjoying their breakfast.  Please note the canopy stretching out from the trailer to provide us with shade and a little shelter in the event of rain.

      On the second day of our trip, we enjoyed swimming, kayaking, riding bikes, and power lounging.  Around five o’clock in the evening, the sky darkened, the clouds began to roll in, and rain looked certain.  We tucked the camp chairs under the canopy, gathered the towels, and put the bikes under a tarp.  We quickly had dinner, then collapsed the tents to bring the kids inside to sleep for the night. It's one thing to sleep in a tent in a gentle rain shower, still another in a thunder storm.  Inside the trailer, the couch and table were opened up into two beds.  Although it was still early, everyone put on their jammies, snuggled in blankets, and settled in to watch a movie.  We should have watched The Wizard of Oz.
     Meanwhile, the wind picked up, thunder and lightening flashed, and rain pelted down.  The electricity began to flicker.  When the power went out for the third time we could no longer ignore what was clearly not a simple thunder storm.  The wind howled around our little trailer.  Branches and leaves flew past the windows.  The trees around us creaked and groaned.  Hail began pounding on the roof.
     I went to Pat and yelled as quietly as I could over the roaring of the wind, “Honey, I think that we would be safer in the truck."   I reasoned, trucks are designed for impact.  Trailers are not.
     Pat who had been nervously watching out the window shouted back, “ We can’t go outside now.  It’s too dangerous.  I think we are going to lose the canopy.”  He had scarcely finished speaking when  a huge metallic bang sounded on the roof.
     We sat together in the dark flinging up half thought out prayers to God for safety and trying to look unconcerned for the sake of the kids, all of whom were too smart to buy it.  Ten minutes later, the wind and rain lessened.  Soon the sun came out.  The storm was over.

      The canopy support post next to the door had been ripped completely away, the metal bent beyond repair.  The canvas was torn.

      Fellow campers began to tumble out of their trailers.  Fortunately, no one had been injured.  Four other trailers along the lake had also lost their canopies.  A fifth canopy had been saved because its owner had stood outside in the storm desperately hanging onto it.

      This shot is looking up the road from our site.  Leaves and branches littered the ground.  The green popup that you can glimpse was totally bent but still standing.  It had been tied to nearby trees.    Just out of sight, a tree had been ripped out by its roots and lay on the ground.  We later found out that a tornado had touched down less then a mile away.
      Rain can come as gentle showers or thunderous storms.  But make no mistake, we all at times experience storms.  Howling winds of heartbreak, the pounding hail of illness, and the brokenness of loss.  Rain pouring down from the heavens.
      But God uses the rain in our life to bring us beauty, healing, comfort, and hope.  Look at the beauty of the world He has given to us.   Every singing bird,  every fish that swims, in fact, every living thing, is dependent on the rain that waters the earth.  Every flower and every tree was born through the rain.

Ask the LORD for rain in the springtime; it is the LORD who makes the storm clouds. He gives showers of rain to men, and plants of the field to everyone.  ~Zechariah 10:1

      Our God is the Redeemer in the rain.   He is the One who calms the storms.

     Have you ever been caught in a storm?

Rest

 Return to your rest, my soul,

    for the Lord has been good to you.  ~ Psalm 116: 7

          Even in the midst of business and activity, our souls can rest in Him. 

Sunset Over Otter Lake, PA

So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.  ~ Luke 5:11