What Not to Wear

     When I was younger I used to buy a fashion magazine that had a page in it of women dressed in some unflattering outfit.  The pictures were taken surreptitiously.  The faces of these women would be blocked by a large black rectangle, as though that would make them completely unrecognizable.  Next to the picture of their fashion faux-pas would be captions like, “Did she escape from the circus?”   “Those yellow pants make her look like a taxi.”  or something else equally horrible.  I was always relieved not to be featured on that page.
     Recently, I saw a commercial for the TV show What Not to Wear.  I had to watch the show because the woman was wearing a sweater vest that I OWNED!  The vest was a fall/Halloween sweater with a tree, pumpkins, scarecrow, black cat, and picket fence.  Until that moment I had thought it was kind of cute.
     The premise of the show is that a person's friends and relatives turn the victim in for a make-over.  The two fashion divas arrive in a very public place, camera's rolling and completely embarrass victim about the outfit they are currently wearing and offer them $5,000.  toward a new wardrobe.  She is also shown secret videotapes of her wearing unflattering clothing taken by her friends.  Ouch!  Only the worst outfits and poses are shown.

     The poor woman on this particular show had all kinds of seasonal clothing.  She had sweaters with bunnies, snowmen, shamrocks, summer flowers, and Christmas trees.  It didn’t stop there, she even had bathrobes and dresses that continued the theme.  Elementary teachers (like myself) as a group tend to purchase just such lovely clothing items and I did have the afore mentioned vest, this woman however, worked in an office building with no children in sight.

     The misguided lady put on the fall vest for the fashion consultants to criticize.  Well!  I think the worst comment was, “When you put a picket fence around your hips it emphasizes the acreage.”  Yikes!  I vowed to get rid of my vest before the season changed.  By the time the lady had a whole new wardrobe, hair color and cut, and make-up, she looked wonderful.  Even she could see that her previous clothes were dowdy and dull compared to her new style.   The woman claimed that although the experience had been emotionally difficult,  that it had also been worth it.
     Most of the "improvements" made on this lady were to reveal her personality and true beauty.  As a woman of God, our outward beauty should reflect our inward beauty.

     Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of  gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.             ~1 Peter 3:3

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” ~1 Cor 5:17 

You are altogether beautiful, MY darling, and there is no blemish in you ~Song of Solomon 4:7 

      So far, I have managed to avoid being in a magazine with a black rectangle over my face, but I think it may have been a near miss with a certain little sweater vest.
     Do you have a funny fashion story?  What outfit could have gotten you nominated for a TV show?